Memories of a Sweet Angel

I wrote this a few years ago while struggling through my grandmother's slow passing...

I feel it every moment of everyday in everything I do
Spending time with her in my dreams, we talk like we used to
She smiles her gentle smile and hugs me
I was always her “blue-eyed handsome man”
I always will be, her voice comforts me
Always at my defense no matter what I’d done, she protected me, a true angel
“Enjoy life while you’re young, while you can” she told me often
I did just that and continue to do so to this day
Proud of me no matter what, unconditional love so unselfish and giving
My own selfish fear of the pain I felt when I saw her “helpless” made my visits few
I pray that she forgives me, for I miss her too much to bear
I would've given anything to ease her suffering and I yelled at God in my weaker moments
Asking “Why?!!!”
God calmly replied to me “Patience, I am watching over her and she
knows. ‘Why?’ is not always an appropriate question and answers will come soon enough, child.”
She is in God’s caring hands and He loves her
My faith falters at times, but God catches me, brushes off my bottom and
stands me back up on my own two feet
I remember Papa telling me that she visited him while he was sick and dying
I believe she did, their love was true and I know that she wanted to be with him
She visits me nearly every night and we share our love
This winter when I noticed the first snowflake, I caught myself waiting for
Her to call me as she did when I was a child, her sweet voice saying “It’s snowing!!!”
She was more than a Grandmother, she was my spring flower and I her “baby”
Always understanding and always loving, she taught me that there is strength in compassion
Her strong values flow strongly through my Mother and from her to I
“Thank you!” and “I Love you” can never be said enough
Thank you, Nanny for your love and understanding, and for always being there for me.
I Love you, Nanny and you will forever have a sacred place within my heart.

(Dedicated to “Nanny” my Grandmother who had Alzheimer’s –
God holds her in His arms and she is once again a child playing in the fields of wildflowers in His kingdom)


~ End

God, part 1

Distant fires, shades of Morning in all her glory
The duel is over and Day has won
A well placed shot just beneath Night’s blood moon breast
The sun fills my room like a hot bath with roses
Soothing warmth, secure as a newly born babe in mother’s arms
A small wren sings, its small voice seems to carry like a thunderclap
God’s power is perfectly placed upon its tiny tongue
And my head, jigsaw puzzle pieces tumbling in their box
Assuring me that all is exactly as it should be
Windows become a milky pearl white, violet blooms of bending light
Life is breathed into every single object, auras overpowering
Esoteric messages broken down for an isolated moment
And if I stand too close, too still, I will catch fire

Drawerings

I have a stack of drawerings

In need of some critique

Some are of just plain old things

But others are quite unique

I have a drawering of a dog

I have a drawering of a cat

I have drawerings of other drawerings

Including one of a pope john hat

I draw and draw and draw some more

My drawerings help me deal

Although I can hardly see my floor

They express the way I feel

Come see my drawerings, one and all

You’re sure to be impressed

I’ll even show you the drawering I made

Of the moon at just half-crest

Staton 2006

The Lost Tribe

Let’s gather our bones and gold and dreams and magic
We can burn eternity into a fine ash
Paint the walls with laughing shadows and dancing shades of gray
Then bring them down with deafening questions
Bring what you can and take what you need before dusk awakens
The collectors are in boxed worlds upon our shelves, in our heads
And we gather like a lost tribe around the neon fires & static
Holding our breaths and each other with invisible arms
Until it all becomes a blur, a dull ache, a ringing in our ears
No more festivities, no more rituals
No more sanctuary, until we can say “I love you.” without speaking a word
Until we can breathe without thinking and think without breathing
A lawless kingdom holds us captive, slaves to politicians with erections in their pockets
A kingdom of profane pedophile priests who still cast stones and hide behind stained
altars slowly breaking down what we once were
We are the lost tribe
We search for God in places far too narrow, too confined
Breathe until it disappears and comes back to you

Unconditional Love

Unconditional love brings up a barrier, a speed bump of sorts for a lot of people. This is an example of true, unconditional love: You and your partner struggle to have a child for many years and almost give up. You are finally blessed with a single baby. Your only child struggles to overcome many medical difficulties, to even stay alive for many years. By miracles only, your child strengthens and eventually recovers. Mere days later, a madman attacks you and brutally murders your only child; the single babe that God blessed you with, the same babe that struggled all those years by your side. After you bury your only child, you begin a search for the killer. You spend your last penny to capture the madman. Here is where unconditional love is born. Instead of turning in the murderer, or killing him yourself, you take him into your home, into your family as your child. You forgive him for all that he has done and never think about that horrible act again. Are you capable of unconditional love? God is. In effect, He did this very thing and does it limitless times every moment. Unconditional love is truly Divine.

Happiness

As I get older, I realize how much of my life has been spent attempting to please those whom I love and admire, thinking all the while that once achieved, I would be filled with peace and self worth. This is a fallacy. Although it is important to me that my loved ones are happy, I essentially have no control of their happiness. I have yet to even begin to mold and train up my own joy. How egotistical of me to think that I possess such power in the first place. I feel certain this is a natural subconscious belief and perhaps some who are just starting their journey will not discover this in their current lifetime. At best, I can only hope to bring my loved ones joy by culturing my own happiness. I also know that my heart of hearts yearns to please God and an indescribable inner peace settles across my brow when I’ve been a faithful Child of God.

"My sheep hear My voice"

I'm an avid fan of heavy metal music and have been for many years. I was no less than thrilled when I discovered that God's message was being shared via this venue by Christian metal musicians. If you're interested, below is a couple of links to some of the very best Christian metal internet radio stations. Rock on!!! FINALLY! Some positive keraaaanngg!!! This fills the void left by those bands I loved so much in my previous life, before Christ fought His way into my heart. Now let the head-banging begin!!! DANG! I have no hair...
http://www.therefineryrock.com (my personal favorite)
http://www.reignradio.com

The Way to Live and Other Reflections

I’m not much into the “How to” genre. I’ve always dismissed that kind of writing as shallow and scam-born; the old “something for nothing” deal that in reality doesn’t exist except in the minds of those who truly want or need to believe. The American society seems to have digressed into the fast-food-religion syndrome. By that I mean the need for a quick fix and sometimes, sadly, the disposable god we have created to fit snug into our busy little lives. I see it very clearly every day that I brave the harrowing exercise of being social, in contact with the general public. It cannot be avoided, well I guess it can if you’re a hermit or in some way incapacitated. Here’s a strange irony for you; those who are able tend to avoid in any way possible what those whom are unable wish they were able to do. Human nature at its finest resounds with this kind of stoic hypocrisy. It’s an automatic response to our surroundings, our bodies, and our upbringing.

There are some truths, beliefs that I know to be so. When asked to explain how I know these things and how to prove them, I have no answer except “I just know.” Sounds too simple, huh? I think it may simply reflect a very well founded, matured faith. Have you ever just known something to be true WAY deep inside? Without any doubts, no need for a human explanation or proof? It’s a feeling that rests within my chest, perhaps my center in a spiritual sense.

1) Human nature will allow no absolutes; Due to the human condition, Man is doomed to question everything, especially that which challenges any part of his Darwinian tendencies. There is an escape: Jesus Christ. We must choose to live beyond our flesh and dare to explore our spiritual super-nature. The “Truth” we all seek lies within the Holy Spirit and He will lead us to the beacon of truth, Christ Jesus, like a soul compass.

2) All paths; spiritual, religious, scientific and otherwise, lead to approaching God in one way or the other. The only true path to salvation is a narrow one. Jesus Christ is the door. Yes. Meeting God is inevitable and whether in this life or the next, you will stand with Him or against Him. This includes life forms of all kinds; animals, spirits (some may say ghosts,) angels, demons, energies of all sorts and so on. Satan himself even knows this and knows his time is very short. Satan’s harvest is a small one. The evil will feed upon each other due to lack of sustenance until only one is left in Satan’s crumbling stronghold; himself.

3) You reap what you sow. What goes around comes around. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Live by these truths. You are being watched more closely at the exact moment when it seems that no one is around to see what you do. Think about this and it will settle with you.

4) Through Christ, nothing is impossible. In fact, ALL things are possible and all things are certain through Christ as long as it coincides with God’s will. As you become closer to God, you will find that what you really want and need falls in line with God’s will. This is no coincidence.

5) There is no such thing as coincidence or luck. Every event, all things, no matter how small, how irrelevant they may seem, have a divine purpose.

6) Love is the most powerful thing in the universe. It transcends time, space, and even death. Love is the lifeblood of the soul.

7) Nothing is more deafening than complete silence. One should spend time every day in silence and contemplate simply being alive. Silence carries upon it the fingerprint of all existence. When in doubt or unsure about something, you will find your answer within silence.

8) Time only exists for the sake of this world, this reality. In the spirit world there is no need for time; no use of measurement.

WWJD?

He would tell us all..."Keep it real, brothers...keep it real."

Everything

"For God loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life."

John 3:16